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(2)Solid Snake vs (15)Tanner 2004

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Results Edit

Poll1733

Monday, August 16th, 2004

Ulti's Analysis Edit

Poll 1733
Division 20XX Division
Match # 16
Match Date Monday, August 16th, 2004
Vote difference 69,759
Oracle
Expectations
Solid Snake - 85.77%
78 for - 0 against
GameFAQs
Prediction
Solid Snake - 97.27%
(32,314 brackets)

Before this match, the two biggest examples of loser we ever had were Mr. Driller and Adventure. Adventure held the record for the lowest voting output, while Mr. Driller was considered the weakest character we ever had in the field.

In one 24 hour time period, this all changed. Solid Snake is a great character and all, but the only way for him to ever score 90% on someone is if they absolutely suck. Snake didn't just score 90, but he came damned close to hitting 95%. This says virtually nothing of Solid Snake's strength, but it says everything about just how much Tanner sucks.

How much does Tanner suck, you ask?

The aforementioned Mr. Driller and Adventure could each score well over 60% on him.

Take a good look at the 2003 Extrapolated standings. Every character above and including Tails could score 80% on him. Tails could score 80 percent!

But what's worse than all that is the fact that Gordon Freeman could look at Tanner, call him a ****ing loser, and not sound like a hypocrite.

When Gordon Freeman, the man who genuinely tries to lose every match he is involved with, can score over 80% on you, then you know you suck.

I love Solid Snake as much as anyone else, but he simply is not strong enough to score 90% in any match, and he's barely good enough to even break 80. Solid Snake was simply the benefactor of squaring off against the worst entrant we have ever had in one of these contests. To think that Tanner was seeded higher than Starcraft is a mockery. Danny Tanner from Full House could probably do better than Tanner did in this match. Tanner got into this contest for one reason, and one reason only. Remember Driv3r? Tanner stars in it, and it was released right smack in the middle of the nomination period. As much of a joke as Tanner is, the Driv3r games have all sold in the millions. Given how many characters are given support during the nomination period, it wouldn't take all too many people to allow Tanner to sneak in above the rest.

But I swear, if Tanner somehow manages to sneak back into the field next year, it's time to start hunting down the users who nominate him and allow a perfectly good contest slot to not be used on more deserving characters like Mewtwo, Zelda, Aeris, Geno, Rikku, or even Raiden, Sigma, Dr. Wily, and/or Shion. Anyone but Tanner.

I'm not trying to take away from Solid Snake here, because it's nice seeing him do this well in any match; however, something is seriously wrong when Solid Snake can score 90% in any poll. He simply isn't that strong, as his future matches would prove.

Match Trends Edit

Graph1733

Ed Bellis' Analysis Edit

2004 may have sucked in a lot of ways, but one thing it did give us was plenty of hilarious blowout matches. I’d never thought it possible that there so many different types of blowouts, but 2004 had all of them, and more. But only a select few reach the level of being entertaining, and only a few of that group are classics.

Snake vs. Tanner is easily up there with the funniest contest matches I’ve ever seen. The formula is so elegant: put probably the strongest character least likely to get anti-votes against the most generic character imaginable. The result? Over 95% victory. This debacle of a match was the whole reason for the Jay Solano rally (and the reason why Mr. Solano has a Wikipedia page!) – who can we find that’s possibly weaker than Tanner? Whenever you see a new character nobody’s heard of in these contests that’s doomed to failure, they’re “Neo-Tanner.” Tanner reached such high levels of suckitude that he’s doomed to rank last in the all-time Xstats, perhaps forever. Yet his legacy lives on in the hearts of every generic, fodderific protagonist with a gun and a crew cut. Godspeed, Tanner. Godspeed.

External Links Edit

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2004 Summer Contest Matches

Round One
Link > CATS
Ganondorf > Alucard
Yoshi > Ryo Hazuki
Luigi > Pac-Man
Magus > Luca Blight
Crono > Conker
Bowser > Guybrush
Mario > JC Denton
Mega Man > Earthworm Jim
Tidus > Shadow
Vercetti > Max Payne
Zero > Protoman
Frog > Liquid
Master Chief > Crash
Knuckles > Kefka

Snake > Tanner
Cloud > Duke
Vyse > Laharl
Kirby > Kain
Squall > Bomberman
Ness > Jak
Auron > Scorpion
Vivi > Donkey Kong
Sephiroth > Sly Cooper
Sonic > Terry Bogard
Ryu > KOS-MOS
Tails > VJ
Dante > Ratchet
Sora > HK-47
Ryu H > Jill
Sam Fisher > Gordon
Samus > Lara

Round Two
Link > Ganondorf
Yoshi > Luigi
Crono > Magus
Mario > Bowser
Mega Man > Tidus
Zero > Vercetti
Frog > Master Chief
Snake > Knuckles
Cloud > Vyse
Squall > Kirby
Auron > Ness
Sephiroth > Vivi
Sonic > Ryu
Dante > Tails
Sora > Ryu H
Samus > Sam Fisher

R3 and following
Link > Yoshi
Crono > Mario
Mega Man > Zero
Snake > Frog
Cloud > Squall
Sephiroth > Auron
Sonic > Dante
Samus > Sora
Link > Crono
Mega Man > Snake
Cloud > Sephiroth
Samus > Sonic
Link > Mega Man
Cloud > Samus
Link > Cloud (Finals)

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