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BTB's Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater Parody

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BTB wrote this after playing through Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. After the great response to his FF VII parody topic, and after liking this game, he decided to make one for MGS3 Snake Eater as well. A lot shorter and a once and done thing, unlike his FF VII parody which he added to over a course of time, he posted this and soon it died. Not sure how many people actually seen this or liked this, but it is still funny.


CIA Director: "Who are you people and what in the hell are you doing in my office?"

The Boss: "Allow me to introduce you to the world's newest elite combat unit: The Cobras!"

CIA Director: "You're a woman."

The Boss: "So?"

CIA Director: "It's 1962, you imbecile. The Civil Rights movement won't even show up for another 10 years. Now go make me a sandwich, Toots."

The Boss: "...the NERVE! Why, I oughta sh-"

CIA Director: "Hush up and let the men talk, Sweetie. You, with the bees, what's your story?"

The Pain: "I am... THE PAIN! I have bees... and I inflict... PAIN! The PAIN!!!"

CIA Director: "A convincing argument for Prozac, I'm sure. What about you, with the limp wrist?"

The Fear: "They call me... The Fearrrrr... I make you feel prettyyyy... and... AFRAID!"

CIA Director: "Well, you're scaring me. I'm going to have to ask you to stop rubbing against me like that."

The Fear: "Why... are youuuu... AFRAID!?"

CIA Director: "GAH! Get your hand out of there! Who's next!?

The End: "Zzzz..."

CIA Director: "What's his problem?"

The Boss: "Oh, that's The End. He does that sometimes."

The End: "Zzzz..."

CIA Director: "Are you sure he's all right? Should I poke him with this stick?"

The Boss: "No, he'll be all right. When he's awake, he's actually the greatest sniper who's ever lived."

CIA Director: "I'll bet. Who's next?"

The Fury: "I'M THE FURY! BURN! I WILL BURN UP EVERYTHING! BURN, GODDAMMIT, BURN!"

CIA Director: "I'm pretty sure that's all we need to hear from you. Take that space suit off, for God's sakes. You look like an idiot."

The Boss: "And I'm The Boss."

CIA Director: "Why do all of your names start with 'The'?"

The Fury: "BURN, GODDAMMIT, BURN!"

CIA Director: "Can one of you keep this nutjob under control before he destroys something?"

The Fear: "I can.... controlllll youuuu..."

CIA Director: "I told you once already to quit doing that. Reach in there again and you're pulling back a nub."

The End: "Zzzz..."

The Boss: "So, anyways, what say you say we get ourselves a spot in the US Elite?"

CIA Director: "...a deranged beekeeper, a closet homosexual, a fossil in a wheelchair, a pyromanical NASA reject, and a... woman? I suggest you all give Barnum and Bailey a call."

The Boss: "Well, there was a sixth one of us, but he died."

The Fear: "We called himmmm... The Sorrrowwww..."

CIA Director: "And what did he do?"

The Boss: "He cried a lot, mostly. Hence the name."

CIA Director: "Right... I'm going to have to ask you all to cease wasting my time and get out of my office before I call security."

The Pain: "Give us what we want, or I will cause you... PAIN!"

CIA Director: "One step closer and I'm blasting you with this can of RAID©."

The Pain: *Whimper*

The End: "Zzzz..."

CIA Director: "Now, listen. The first Metal Gear Solid game had the FOXHOUND unit, which was comprised of six elite members, three of which actually weren't insane. The second Metal Gear Solid game, instead of trying something new, did pretty much the same thing. Attempting the same rehashed bull**** a third time around is just asking for people to tar and feather us. What kind of idiot would not think we're being too repetitive?"

Dr. Wily: "I dunno, boss, I think it's a pretty original ide-"

CIA Director: "Shut up, Wily. Go build **** Yourself Man."

Dr. Wily: "I already built him back in Mega Man Zero X7-35... something."

CIA Director: "Just shut up!"

The Fury: "I LIKE TO BURN THINGS!!! BURN, FUNNY LITTLE MAN, BURN!"

Dr. Wily: "AGHHH!!! IT BURNS LIKE HYGIENE! WHY DO YOU ALL STAND ABOUT AS IF I AM NOT RUNNING AREOUND FRANTICALLY SCREAMING AND BURNING TO DEATH IN FRONT OF YOUR VERY EYES!? SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"

The End: "Zzzz..."

CIA Director: "If you all are quite through, I have some actual important business to tend to. Ian Flemmings' corpse* has risen from the grave to sue us for copyright infringement, and we have some seriously pissed-off Ewoks saying something about us ripping off the bike chase scene from Return of the Jedi. Now get the hell out of my office, you freaks."

Dr. Wily "GOD, IT BURNS! IT BURRRRRNS!!!"

The Boss: "So... we don't get the job, then?"

CIA Director: "In a word... no."

The Boss: "This is all because of the Ocelot guy, isn't it? Goddamn, you, I'm going to go kill him."

CIA Director: "Please don't. The universe will collapse upon itself."

The Fear: "Does that make youuuuu... AFRAID!?

CIA Director: "All right, numnuts, I already told you once. Take this!"

The Fear: "Arrrghhh! The stingggggg of a taserrrrrrr!!! It burns like heterosexualityyyyyy!"

The Pain: "What have you done to The Fear!? Why, I oughta... PAIN!!!"

CIA Director: "I have RAID©."

The Pain: *Whimper*

Dr. Wily "GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

CIA Director: "Oh, quit being such a baby, Wily. Now I want all of you freaks to clear out of my office so I can mastur... tend to matters of national security."

The Boss: "So we won't be seeing you later, then?"

CIA Director: "I'll be seeing YOU later, Toots... IN BED."

The Boss: "Oh, bite me. Come on, guys, we're defecting to the Soviet Union."

CIA Director: "Good luck with that. Hey, when you leave, can you take Wily with you? I haven't figured out a way to get rid of him yet."

Dr. Wily "..."

CIA Director: "Er, nevermind that. SECRETARY! I NEED A BROOM AND DUSTPAN IN HERE STAT!"

CIA Director's Secretary: "Will do, Boss!"

The Boss: "So that's it? You're just gonna let us walk?"

CIA Director: "Do you have ANYTHING to say that would convince me otherwise?"

The End: "Zzzz..."

CIA Director: "That's what I thought. Now leave."

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