The Second Week of Board 8 RAP BATTLE: tha LEAGUE Tournament.
Battle 19: CountCrazy007 vs nintendogirl1Edit
Watch out, Count's back. The return of the king!
I'm cool. That's fact. Now let's step in the ring.
Upper-cut to your jaw. Now look, you're failing.
Your face hits the floor and you learn the true mean-
-ing of what it's like to fall victim to my plan.
To expose your true lie that you're really a man.
You could only date a girl that's the age of nine.
Like Chris Hansen's bait on NBC Dateline.
Which makes your fall just like Kuge's boasts.
The uses will all make this reach 500 posts.
So make sure you fight with lots of spring and pep.
'Cuz my fangs will bite and I'll suck out yo' rep.
Is that the best you got? There's no girls online?
Create your own ****, don't use someone else's whine,
'Cos it ain't true, I'm feminine and fine,
And your fighting lingo's bad against a brawler in her prime.
And if you're gonna split all that you are miming,
Into three stanzas to improve your timing,
Then all that crap your bell is chiming,
Had better all be bloody well rhyming.
Now the meat of the story, right here,
In all it's crowning glory, you're feeling fear,
Counting crazy is the only way this vote's near,
Your obliteration sealed with your mother's tear.
You say you’re fine? You’re ugly as hell!
You’re in your prime? I’m the one who’ll excel.
With the match on the line, any doubts I’ll dispel.
So you should just resign, ‘cuz you’ve hit a dry spell.
Just like your name, your rap is G rated.
But with my fame, you’re as good as hated.
You’re slow as molasses, as if you’re sedated.
Pay heed to the masses, the crown’s reinstated.
Count the King has finally won this match.
I finished cooking some rhymes into a nice batch.
The taste is sweet; something your flows don't scratch.
Remember I’m 1337 and won’t accept a rematch.
You think I'm ugly but with a face like that,
You should'a ditched the dissing and made your rhymes phat,
But it's nice to see, you listened to me,
Rhyming each line with another three, obeying me, subconsciously,
So you meet my rules, try this one for size,
Now defeat is staring you in the eyes,
Go back to your cave and next time behave,
Don't backtalk your master, you inept slave.
So who's the monarch in this arena?
If you're the king, you're the king of macarena!
Your lines don't flow, they're robotic and no,
No one thinks you're 1337, so you'll score double-oh-oh.
Battle 20: Furious J vs SensiShadeSlayeEdit
My name is Furious J.
Sorry for the late introduction, but its a fabulous production we have in store for you today.
An undeserved loss on the day I was away, but it matters not now, cuz I’m here to stay.
Say...SensiShade, could I get your autograph on this day?
You see on this auspicious occasion, I’d like some verification so I won’t be dismayed.
That I missed a chance to prove that I got to play,
With the very first person entered into the fray.
The person who first felt J mold him like clay.
The person who’s head J first served up on a tray.
The person who J first showed (even though it’s the 21st century, and what you do in the privacy of your own house is your business, and whatever turns you on, I mean, that’s totally cool. I’m not here to judge) is totally ***.
I hope you can see, it’d be a great honor for me, if you could just sign this and be on your way.
So some day far from now I’ll be able to say, that I met the person who J first slayed.
24 hours have come and passed
Just like the gas from a fat mans ass
I thought I might get my skills tested at last
But one more round goes quietly into the past
Am I really all that threatening?
So much to incourage others to quit?
Or is there something about my presence that's intoxicating?
And everyone is just too shy to spit.
In the end it don't matter one win, one loss
The spoils were nothing, but so was the cost.
Except that I wasted some of my best lines,
On pansy ass suckas, too lazy to rhyme.
Battle 21: Biolizard28 vs Ed BellisEdit
Before we begin, I need to warn ya, brother
The last guy a rapped to went cryin' to his mother
Like a Cherokee, he was formin' a trail of tears
I'm the best rapper Board 8's seen in years
You may have the status, but I got the skills
And don't you all worry, said skills pay the bills
I'm the Snake to your Raiden, the Auron to your Tidus
It's gonna be a shut out, wish you didn't have to see this
Every rhyme, every syllable; somethin' to dread
Just close up the browser, shut down, go to bed
And dream 'bout livin' up to everything you've boasted
Call up Dan Forden, someone just got toasted
Jesus, Mr. Lizard, took ya long enough to show up
Bet my presence on the battlefield was forcin’ ya to throw up
At least that’s what I gathered from your rappin-flavored vomit
Like Ivan Ooze I’ll throw you in a lyrical comet
You’re the fumble to my tackle, you’re the foul ball to my pitch
You’re the Yuna to my Tidus cause I just made you my *****
If you pay the bills with those rhymes, you’re runnin’ outta gas
I’m the Balrog to your Gandalf – and boy, you shall not pass
You may have hoped to challenge me, but I ain’t here to play –
I’ll end your lifespan faster than your CYOA
So if you lost me somewhere, I’ll make it succinct –
Betta call the EPA, cuz Biolizard’s extinct.
You thought I was cowerin'? Idiocy in its prime
I almost didn't show cause you ain't worth my time
The fact I even rapped to ya is a miracle
Comin' out spewin' that trite is hysterical
Once King Bellis, but majestic no longer
The crown waits for lyrics far stronger
Perk up yo ears, listen to what yo told
I'm a sort of King Midas, all my lines are pure gold
My words flow like water, yours a pile a rocks
You bite like a jackal, me a cornered fox
I draw the praise, you draw all tha flak
Follow tha tears, and don't dare come back
The ‘lizard is rappin’, but all I hear’s static
And beats so preposterous, flow so erratic
You talk like a tiger but rap like a mouse
Don’t question my kingdom, I’ll annex your house
You call me a jackal, but I’m a hyena
Laughin’ at chumps who defile the arena
And think they can stand ‘gainst the Allah Almighty
The Fuhrer of Freshness, the Don of Delight-y
My empire stretches across land and sea –
The King of All Cosmos takes lessons from me!
So sit in your corner and do as you’re told –
Cuz the Ultimate Lifeform got Chaos Controlled.
Battle 22: kirbyjump vs swordsman 12Edit
It’s time to follow up my week one domination
With an insane unstoppable lyrical creation
Today’s opponent: user swordsman 12
Step into the ring and I’ll show you true hell
This is the Beauty and the Beast and you sure do look like Belle
You say that you’re a guy but I can’t really tell
But in all honesty I’m both the Beauty and the Beast
The beauty of my rhymes has never once ceased
And the beast within takes over to make you the little boy to my priest
So please, won’t you be my guest at this wonderful feast
Today’s main course is a delectable dish
swordsman 12 served with a side of fish
Perhaps I am a belle, my rhymes are truly beautiful
You really are the beast, you’re so ugly that it’s pitiful!
I’m a modern William Tell, kill this fruit with just one shot
Split ya head in two, scorch ya roots with lines this hot
Spread some jelly on my bread, but it’s not the KY kind
I’m not KJ the priest, lubin’ little boys’ behinds
Ya won’t rape me though, I’m not some helpless kid
I’m a Swordsman bro, you shoulda ran and hid
You’re right that I’m delectable but you’re the one that’s served
Ya head is on my plate and ya fate has been reserved
You’re the fish, got ya hooked and I’m bringing in the reel
This was just an appetizer, you can’t take the full-course meal
I won’t run and hide, I’ll just turn the tide
While you’re playing with your sword I’ll blow everybody’s mind
I wield the great Excalibur, I’m the king of this here land
Drop that plastic sword and pick up a real one like a man
Though I feel you lack the credentials, you have no potential
You’re a kid with a toy while my air is presidential
This here’s a fish no fisherman can catch,
You can try to reel me in but I’ll just knock you on your snatch
Though I must admit you look pretty in that tailor made dress
If you ignore the grotesque pimples and the hair on your chest
So give me all you’ve got, bring it on hun
You can swing your sword but I’ll just end you with a gun
Ya playin’ a *** doctor, tell me to turn my head and cough
I turn my head, draw my blade, slice ya ****in' legs off!
My sword’s no joke, it’s one hundred percent real
On it you will choke, and while you’re at it have my BALLS OF STEEL!
Now I’ll send this priest back to his church crawlin’, bawlin’ “how?”
You failed man, you’re dyin’, WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
My lines are commendable, your **** is reprehensible
Ya better save this match cause lines this great are straight collectibles
KJ, call “Mayday!” cause ya ship is goin’ down,
This has been my heyday, ya better hand me your crown
This match is my payday, open ya eyes man
For this kind of performance I deserve a ****in' heisman!
Battle 23: Lopen vs TVontheRadioEdit
On death row, TVontheRadio
You about to be lynched by my sick flow
You say you a doctor? What a load, chump
The docta is here, ready to end this scum
We done here now the noose rob you of yo fight
Silence, no talkin, for NOW IT IS NIGHT
At the midnight hour none mourn your passing
... Cept maybe the goats who enjoyed your harassing
Heed this warning if you wanna mess witda best
For on this morning we lay the dead to rest
PS3ontheRadio... nother nail in yo coffin
Comin out of this league... you'll look worse than the Dolphins
I'm "shakin' in my sheets" with the **** you just showed
Shriekin' wildly over "shots" at my shockin' rap flows
Show'rin' me with shameful raps surely got you exposed
Shuttin' down your fake charade, sham, in shackles your abode
Better yet you stay imprisoned, for your life's own sake
Votes will pass, lynch your ass, put your head on a stake
Find your body in the ditches, *****es, made a BIG mistake
You'll be sleeping with the fishes at the bottom of the lake
We ain't playin, 'pen, you're dyin'! When? You'll find out soon enough
Admin powers you'll be seein', son... votes are what I stuff
Deathrow is where you say I'm at? For murderin' your rhymes!
I'm the game, you're still the player, and you just ran out of dimes.
PS3ontheradio back for another show
With prices droppin down so low all units gotta go
Just a dime to play that still ain't cheap enough
With that sad display your skill-- a clear bluff
We Heavenly Bored by your Rapper Gaiden Stigma
Words basically ignored, an unabidin enigma
But enough about your skills, we talk bout yo condition
With coffinborne shrills must be a rappin apparition
Diabolical haunt ova, time for an exorcism
This a lyrical coup d'etat, we endin yo czarism
Finish off dis insurrection wit the holy right cross
Forget about resurrection son... you've lost
First off, get it right. Two letters. T V.
On the... radio, breakin' records with my "Wii"
"X-Box" you're sorry ass til' you're beaten and you're dizzy
Slingin' words, spit in spurts so fast you're spinnin' 360
If there's one thing that's right with your weak "analogy"
You can sell your pity soul still can't afford to hang with me
This "battle" that we havin', I'm already showin' mercy
Your rappin's sorely lackin', flowin's sickly. What a pity.
This machine's illegal, each line I print is money
Droppin' hits with every rhyme, might as well call me Shiggy
If I can make it easy, we can roleplay, you and me
You can be my little *****, I'll be your hero... MC
Battle 24: Sir Chris vs Menji76Edit
My opponent is Menji I am doomed
Oh man! His raps are deadly and so groomed
All jokes aside this is a waste of time
I’ve taken advil for what he calls “rhyme”
Looking at his raps I am shocked
Forget ****-Block he is Brain-Blocked
He thinks himself superman, the man of steel
All his cards aren’t there, God gave him a raw deal
Eight lines is all I need, so hi NGirl
Nice skills, you took this dumbass for a whirl
I know girl gamers so don’t expect that crap from Sir Chris
I’ll be seeing you soon, so sit tight, kiss kiss
Dubbed Sir Chris, now who's responsible?
I won't believe it was any sort of king
That rap was more incomprehensible
Than the game known as Zero Wing
Poppin' pills for my rhymes? That can't be
Like Simple Plan, you're addicted to me
Callin' me stupid and slow
Maybe Cupid could help you some mo'
You've never had an ex, yet alone sex
you couldn't make a dollar on MTV's Next
So you've kicked my butt and eight lines was all you needed?
Well that rap didn't make the cut and Aeon will have you reseeded
Guess that's my fault, trying to show pity
No mercy it has to be, even for those not witty
Menji you suck, you have no style
Within you lies no trace of guile
No wit is around you, not even for a mile
Your competency for rap should be on trial
Stick to crap like Simple Plan
Better yet, go kill yourself like Stan
I hear you’ve got an ex that makes you Proud
Knowing you “she” was probably just another Cloud
Superman you can go ahead and take flight
I’m your Kryptonite, Sir Chris, The Crowned Knight
Sir Chris, a knight? Oh that can't be
You couldn't make it with the Knights Who Say Ni
And then there's me, my demand has surpassed the Wii
I even brought in more money than Episode Three
Girl problems? Didn't your own girl forgot your birthday?
Must've been the the party prior to that day
You asked around, but no one would say
That it was I who was mackin' on your bay bay
I went to the School of Hard Knocks and graduated
My degree helped me see your rhymes were a tad overstated
Like any good comeback I was a little underestimated
So goodnight, sweet dreams, and happy belated
Battle 25: Crono801 vs DNEAEdit
Battle 26: Charton vs BBallman7Edit
Battle 27: TheLastOblesik vs WiggumFanEdit
It's time to take this battle to the woodshed
I'm like head on Wigs, apply this to your forehead
You don't deserve a 10 cause shorty ain't a pimp son
Your flow's got less dimensions than the Simpsons
You don't own me like dark blues on Monopoly
I roll like double sixes so get those cops off of me
Cause man when you see them red houses
Call yourself wigs? Might as well add some damn blouses
You'll be sorry the day you became sh*esalesman
Can't fly away cause you ain't got the tails, man
And while I'm out making my Capcom Zenny
I'll try not to forget you...oh look a penny!
I like you and all T-low, so don't take my rap to heart
But I mean it when I say that I'm gonna tear you apart!
Applyin' HeadOn to your forehead makes more sense, you see
Cuz you'll be rubbin your head and lookin' like Colin Mocherie
At Monopoly I beat Maya who's psychic and Kurainian
And I can do it all with just Baltic and Mediterranean.
You can roll double sixes, but your plans become unfurled,
Cuz you be hittin' three in a row, and subsequently get SWIRL'D!
You think that the houses are red, not green and that's really kinda funny
You're probably more familiar with that color, since you always owe me money.
So try not to be intimidated by my superior flow
And it'll be revealed once and for all who is truly the sh*e h*e!
Before I resume the battle I gotta give my bigs
To Aeon for the opportunity to face Wigs
Now the formalities are over, as well as the introduction
Wigs is the next USS Arizona, ready for destruction
This match ain't over yet no one has the win
TLO here to prescribe a taste of your own medicine
Side effects include sick flow to nauseate the senses
The vomiting and vertigo make you see blurs thru your lenses
I can owe you all the money in the world Wigs but it ain't stopping me
Cause I own you like a real monopoly
Now get your stinky sh*es and size up for the burnin
You can take them back to the store but you ain't returnin
You think you've down my ship, see mate, but I've seen you steppin' in cattle chips,
All I do is shout out "B8", and it seems I've sunk your Battleships.
Your stuff ain't that great, Mr.Hero, so let me take your rap virginity,
Cuz I'm 1 over x as x approaches 0, and your x approaches infinity.
Excuse me for getting mathematical, though I do enjoy my placeholders
But while you were taking your sabbitical, I was chargin' up my flamethrower.
I'm burnin' you first-rate, I'll explain how b'fore you inquire....
Cuz all I gotta do is differentiate TLO times nat'ral log fire
With respect to fire of course, cuz I always give those flames my pride,
Especially when I AM the source, cuz I love to see TLO fried!
I'm well done with this battle boy, too late for your calculator and dictionary,
So lie down and I'll show you, toy, why they call me The Mathematical Missonary.
Battle 28: Cokes311 vs DealerEdit
Man, I'm so black, I make Samuel L look like Al Roker
Lines I spit are white hot, yours, a nice shade of ochre
Thought you could deal yourself outta this, seems you must be the Joker
So I guess that must make you the new Clown Prince of Rhyme
I haven't rapped much lately, but I still flow like time
Compared to your ****, though, I'm like 2Pac in his prime
You got your first and last win against DN-E-A
Lemme say, you woulda been better off playin' Wii Play
Time for a new game, let's watch FMD pray
To God, Allah, or Lady Luck for some mercy
Cuz he knows I'll send him home in a hearse, see
So quick you'll think I'm Jackie Joyner-Kersee
Cokes my man, I expected rain not a drizzle
You’re a can of soda gone lame with no fizzle
I thought that DNEA was set to Easy, nothing but static
But when compared you’re the step below known as Practice
This Card Dealer’s obsessed with perfection—call me a fanatic
And the crap you call rap is the scrap in my attic
It’s a pity you aren’t a fair, innocent babe
I’d grab your body with flare, make you my slave
Instead of ripping you verbally, I’d tear elsewhere
Your struggles are worthless, jus’ bend over the chair
My ownage would last long, my hand in your hair
It’s a shame that my flame is not tamed by your prayer
Was that a rap, or some erotic fanfiction?
Fantasies like that'll getcha a rape conviction
Betta cut that out, before you're SDealerRocker
Next thing you'll be givin' twelve year old girls the shocker
But that's enough about the girls you wanna poke
Let's talk about your dsifigurement by MC Cokes
You make my rhymes look like Shakespeare's soliloquies
Like Mercutio, finely tuned wit's my expertise
You, sir, are a *****, like a lady Maltese
Perhaps you'd do better rhyming in Japanese?
Not that it matters, cause this rap battle's through
Your new name's Kate, call this my Taming of the Shrew
Shakespeare you say? Well this must be a tragedy
I’m Macduff and the prophecies claim you will fall to me
You’re king no more, I’m the new generation
Bend over quick, here comes ma penetration
Ooh girl your **** is so tight, this feels so right
Baby I won’t stop until you’re bleeding tonight
I’ll thrust and I’ll thrust so don’t put up a fight
Your body looks truly spectacular in this light
Your nipples are stiff; I can see your pleasure
Your breasts feel so soft and your ass is so thick
Ooh here it comes… and just for good measure
Be a good little chic and lick the **** off my ****
Battle 29: Princess Anri vs RX7InfinitiIIIEdit
Please, take my advice unless you're ready for a floggin'.
Go ask token black guy. He'll warn you not to log in.
I'm pullin' ahead too fast. I make it look like you're joggin'.
People breakin' to my rhymes. Why the **** are you cloggin'?
My rhymes are just too good. They got everybody thinking.
Is it An-ri or Kan-ye? Either way your chance is shrinking.
I spit my rhymes so fast that you miss 'em while you're blinking.
You don't even know what happened. I'll tell you. You're sinking.
You lack the skills I possess. Here's a tip: it's called finesse.
You did your best. It was a mess. It might be time to try chess.
Yes, I must confess. I'm a guy who wears a dress.
You'll still have no success, so excuuuuse the Princess.
Anri please, get on your knees, cuz you're starting to blow.
That rap was nothin' special and it's startin' to show.
As for delay, it ain't like I got no **** to say,
I just have better things to do than beat your ass all day.
Now listen up: school's in session, and it's led by the Rex,
Ph.D, mother ****er, now start cuttin' me checks,
Cuz your tuition is the mission that I'm tryin' to find.
Hope all these lessons in the rap game will inspire your mind.
At least then I'd have a challenger who's entertaining,
Unlike the **** you're spewing now: no more than mindless complaining.
Get back to training, and I'll meet you when you're ready to fight,
Else I'll OBJECTION!! your rhymin' like lyrical Phoenix Wright.
I'm like a wizard on the mic. You can't handle my magic.
Try to duplicate my flow. Go. You end up looking tragic.
Anri's killing everybody. No one's gonna get far.
I called realo's bluff. He came close but no cigar.
Y'all bringing less game than Ess Dee Are.
Awesome riffs aren't enough so drop the guitar.
Like a sniper shooting you with rhymes from afar.
I'm shooting double eagles. You can't even shoot par.
Spittin' rhymes to the end zone more than Tom Brady.
Pullin' in more votes than Biggie, Pac, and Shady.
I show no signs of slowing. Got y'all feeling uneasy.
At the rate I'm going, I'd probly shut out Lil Weezy.
Yeah, I bet you'll shut out somethin': your own studio lights.
Pack up and go, little Anri, cuz your rap ****in' bites.
Recall tonight, as the night I showed you how it was done.
You think I showed you my A-game but I ain't even begun.
Professor Rex, reporting in, with your grades for the term:
Oh look. Anri failed at rap. When are you gonna learn?
As for me, I'll rule Rap Nation, lord of matters domestic.
You can call me King Rex, cuz all my rhyming's majestic.
So bow down, to the master of the rappin' composition
'Fore I have your ass indicted by the Spanish Inquisition.
I'm a magician with the meter and my rhyming's complex,
So you best your act together 'fore you **** with the Rex.
Battle 30: ExThaNemesis vs BesaidGuyEdit
The ETN, bringin' that flash n' flair
Call CNN, fo' I start an international scare
People freakin' over the verbal chaos that I bring
You'll be TWEEKin' once you step into my ring
So this week's opponent is the real oh six.
Dude likes to brag about all the chicks on his ****.
Well that ain't nothin' but lies and tricks.
They was actually guys, and their average age was six!
It's true, it's for real, oh six is this neighborhood's pedo.
Say it like Sonic, "That's no good, at all, yo!"
Realo you about to learn that you just can't step to me.
My words are gospel homie, and you're straight blasphemy.
I drew extha second round-- ehh gads what a fight
Arsenal AND the Giants. . . . it’s easier rippin people I don’t like
You’ll believe in God homie, lyrics seam you to the bible
You RKOin this rap league, I’m like John Cena with the title
So the marks scream ya name and you say only kids love me
But ya ex is in the crowd and she keeps tryna to touch me
Ya raps I spits on em, ya lyrics I **** on em
Im tom brady in the 4th quarter, you’re eli manning wit the bltz on em
I tongue twist up tornadoes, haiku the **** outta whirlwinds
Call me the beginning the way I post naked pics of ya girlfriend
The realosix. . . . the real mccoy, smash brothas wit the hammer toy
Saw exthas picture, he look like jp from grandmas boy
You want to claim Cena? Homie go get some better lines.
You forget that that **** lost to Keven Federline.
Seems that you like losin', though. It's what you do best.
Didn't you get beat last week by a ****in' Princess?
So you're a loser, just like that she-male Tee-dus.
That whole game, FFX, it sucks, just ask Cee-jus.
He'll tell you son, ya taste is wack.
Foul, and smelly, just like Yuna's ass crack.
Wakka Wakka the comparisons ain't done.
You homely enough to be Kimahri's son.
And you ain't as cool as Auron, ho, it's all in ya head.
Though after this battle, man, you'll BOTH be dead.
Extha can't defeat me, he's sitting in the cheap seats
up up down down, not even the konami code can beat me
ya put me to sleep b, so now im bringin the heat g
i would offer a penny for ya thoughts but that would be overpayin discreetly
my lyrics beat up beef, see, like sdr you creepy
send suckers like extha back to candyland, he aint nothin but a sweet pea
so be careful what ya startin, my lyrics gear up and provide the spark and
ya lines are steppin over themselves so try and keep em in the margin
im in the game like mills lane, my words are known to split brains
mention my name around ya dame and you'll probably smell **** stains
you stink like my pit stains and ya got my blood boilin
cum,poop and pee, treat ya Exthas ex's mouth just like a toilet
Battle 31: PukeInMyPot vs Dilated ChemistEdit
I’m the vehement demon
The reason you wanna commit the treason
Cuz against me; there’s no competin
My demeanor’s never lenient
I’ll graffiti your face with a stream of semen
And keep you screamin
I frequently leak these freely-themed sequences
Feeling supreme; I must be sweetly dreamin
The skill isn’t leaving me;
It’s here from dawn to evening.
So begin fleeing, and begin leaving
You ain't a PIMP today, you're a prostitute that'll get humped worse.
Dawg, you couldn't beat me to death even if I let you jump first!
You messin' with fire and gonna be burnt 'til there ain't nothin' left.
Cause you talk so much ****...oh wait... that explains your breath!
I'll be rainin' death on this kid like sulphuric acid.
Until his skeleton ruptures and he gets a clue what rap is.
Cause in this match it's DC openin' up the hatches.
And lettin' my flow in to saturate NottPIMP's whackness.
On the real, my lines are gargantuan in size - yours are miniscule.
You be spittin' the type of **** you be hearin' in middle school!
No need for you to reply, it's been over for awhile.
You like a high top fade, boy - you're no longer in style!
Alright Mr. “I think I’m the ish”, Mr. “Dilated Chemist”
Mr. “I should’ve been a blowjob, I shouldn’t even exist”
People find pleasure in your raps, you must be a charity case
You cussin’ too much, I call you vulgarity face
Yeah my first verse was much worse, but what can I say-
I made things easy for you, so this match ain't a runaway
Sure your rap skills might temporarily engage us
But imma end this quickly in case my talent’s readily contagious
My rap was middle school, I guess that makes yours elementary
Any additional rebuttals are just supplementary
Your rap was pretty funny, though, I’d call it comical
Too bad it shows how freestyling ain’t anatomical !!!
The second edition, you messin' with the master practician.
I'm on a mission to erase the face of weak competition.
I'm the best, you can't absorb my punches with a sponge on your chest.
You're ****, when I clog my toilet I'll watch you plunge to your death!
By default you won your last match but I'm alot meaner and tougher.
I'll have sex with your mother and send your father the rubber!
Now look at PIMP gettin' pissed cause he's gettin' his ass beat.
And I got the crowd to YELL OHHHH! - like the color of his teeth!
Yeah OK, I cuss alot but why should you give a ****?
Like leprechauns in dry cleaners - you're just pressin' your luck!
I know you're havin' problems tryin' to defeat me, bro.
So I'll turn that chip on your shoulder... into a bag of Doritos!
Battle 32: AlecTrevelyan006 vs Aeon AzuranEdit
Get ready y'all, cuz this rap is gonna suck
Like a Thai hooker, for about a buck
I do not have the time, to get this done right
So instead I'll post this, and I'll sound real white
I'll make fun of me, because Aeon I don't know
Enough about your person, to make this rap not blow
I don't know much 'bout music, don't watch no anime
All I ever do these days, is pretend that I am ***
But I am no ass pirate, and I'm acquainted with no fists
I wish I were an emo, then at least I'd cut my wrists
Damn I suck at trolling, even when I self deprecate
I should ditch this battle, and go wangsturbate
Double A gives you all the respect you’re accorded
But your rap came to term when it was best off aborted
It’s so poor it went broke on your one dolla whore
And she left halfway through cause it couldn’t afford it.
Let’s extrapolate from rap to man and we’ll find
Alec’s as dim-witted as Miss Keller is blind
It’s a shame you resort to feeble self-flagellation
Need to know me to insult me? Observe this demonstration:
Nobody loves you, women say your hygeine’s shoddy
And wonder which is more repulsive, your face or your body.
Your dad’s in the gutter with a case of cheap beer
Your sister had sex with the fat guy from Cheers.
I'll make my last rap a limmerick
So bad that it will make you sick
Like Etna I blowed
I should not have showed
I'll abandon this and suck on dick
I’ve got two legs from my hips to the ground and
When I move ‘em they walk around and
When I lift ‘em they climb the stairs and
When I shave ‘em they ain’t got hairs.
Battle 33: Forceful Dragon vs ShakeEdit
This time up wont mess around, gonna beat you 'to the ground
Everyone they will exalt; the strength of this rap assault
For goodness sake, best stay awake; I'm like a car without the brakes
The ground it quakes, each step I take; I truly am without mistake
Beat like a steak, your head I'll take; 'neath verbal blows your bones will break
Whole body aches, o'er coals you're raked; as surely as your name is Shake
He tries and tries but cannot fly; falling an' failing, time to die
Will Shake survive, is the end nigh? best turn around and wave goodbye
This blitz of mine does not abate; Your hopes and dreams, they do deflate
Everyone waits now in suspense; 'scale of this beating is immense
If rap's a game then I'm the boss; chalk up for Shake a grueling loss
Here on out I'm undefeated; Strong Bad says you are BALEETED!
Shake (doesn't count)
Forceful Dragon, I am saddened by the lack of worthful rap in your battlin'
Like a gun gattlin' on automatic, real content sporadic, this **** won't go platinum
A car sans brakes makes sense, no escape, probably bought for fifty cents
At Ebay. You're the Liston to my Clay -- big, bad, ugly and moving in slow-motion
This is where I do my shuffle, the hustle, your mind in tussle -- *****, better use a potion
Or, if your cheap ass has surpassed the ignition blast, move out of first gear
Fear the Shakespeare for when you know it's on your end is near
Unsurpassed, never last, with a blast, pre-sent and past, dictate and grass
Yo' ass forcefully although remorsefully, I have compassion
Nevertheless you'll be the victim to a fury in action
You talk about blitz but you're detecting zits in reflecting glass
When this is all done they'll say 'he was too young to pass'
Battle 34: Mega Mana vs sonicblastpunchEdit
oh god oh god oh god, how can this be
I'm thrown up against the great sonicbp?
And after a battle I tried to toss;
Making a game won by four across?
Only one piece was played because my foe was no show
And you expect Mega Me to beat king of the flow?
Congrats, bp, you've got a bye on your hands
Though it'll look worse with all my fans
Who'd vote for me anyway and I don't know why
Because everyone knows your lyrics are superfly
Here, it's your turn to rip me a new one
Don't go easy or it won't be as fun
given yer skill level and yer hopeless situation
i'm unsurprised by yer attempts to show capitulation
but i won't grant you yer freedom like f. w. de klerk
i expected more from mega mana in the battle network
so don't think i'll go easy on you for yer lack of stamina
i'm the seiken densetsu iii against yer dawn of mana
and i'll torture you and murder you, i'm vile and reprehensible
the eyes of any court would find my actions indefensible
but they won't find yer body and the cops will never know
because i'll grind you into coffee grounds and serve you to godot
so go back in time and beg yer mom to use some prophylactics
cause you'll wish you'd never been born after sufferin my tactics
Didn't go easy? I'm laughing off my ass
Only a few witty phrases with a touch of sass?
I stood here and handed you knuckles of brass
Your weak pats did no damage to my jaw of glass
I can't wait for the round you meet a real rhymer
With beats and flows and content worth readin
And watch you get schooled by a crazy old-timer
Whose hooks and drops deliver a beatin
While he bends you over and gives you a *****in
So powerful a force that not just your anus is bleedin
But until that day, I'm here to give support
Smash me to pieces with your last retort
that was better, get spiteful, get hateful, get verklempt
yes i find it just delightful that you made the weak attempt
cause it's better than yer first, and slightly better than silence
and all i had to do was threaten unspeakable violence
but it's clearly masochism when you beg to be hit harder
like a pirate with adhd you've got a brain dis-arr-der
so instead i'll pay a compliment to soften yer defeat
you smell perfectly acceptable and not at all like feet
and even though your brain don't work we share a common vision
both you and i are hopin i'll find better competition
but if you expect my comeuppance yer in for quite the wait
all are nothin before this dojo destroyin potentate
Battle 35: BBallman7 vs DNEAEdit
It's a surprise battle between two rappers who weren't satisfied with a win by DQ!
I'm wasting my time, where should I begin,
I traded in a forfeit, for an automatic win.
Your rhymes are worth dimes, I had a professional price 'em,
I slice 'em and dice 'em, more KOs from my flows than from Ali and Tyson.
You're just another death in my path of destruction,
Worse than a volcanoes eruption, makin Hawaiis like nothin.
You gave up your win, should have quit when you were ahead,
Now I'll leave you for dead, bullet wounds in your head,
You had a chance at a win, now you're winless instead.
Cuz I already won, It's like a done deal,
I got a tank, you got a bike with one wheel,
I'm sure that some feel, what you did was noble, too bad my gun's real.
Hold on BBall, your win's all but obtained
For here I am, I rock you like a hurricane
If my rhymes are dimes, your's are pesos
No KOs for you, you barely touched my nose
Think you can beat me? You're sorely mistaken
Your flow is poor, jes' like your dis-makin'
You can't touch what I bring to the table
"Sickest Rap Masta" - That's my label
You got no label, you're just a faceless punk
You, a good rapper? Ha! It's been debunk'd
You're doomed. Go ahead and bring your tanks
Your gun is real, but it's loaded with blanks!
The only way you're winning, is if I get modded G,
You're a Vanilla Ice wannabe and I'm a ****ing prodigy.
Loaded with blanks? But I'm still your curse,
Blanks are more deadly, than your last verse.
You say you got a label, that looks more like a slogan,
And having diseases doesn't make you a rapper or chosen.
Any punk can get AIDS, and be the sickest rap masta,
Too bad sick means your ill, and your flow's a disaster.
I don't need a label ya see, but I still bring the hounds,
Cuz battles aren't on MTV, they're underground,
You're bleeding, no question, from all the insults I've dealt,
I'm a rapper, a legend, you're a notch in my belt.
Bleeding? That's not blood, that's tears you see
I'm crying because your rap was way too sappy
Here's the news flash: This ain't Sesame Street, bro
But now that I think about you were always a little slow
Your attempts to faze don't work, they just make me sigh
You call yourself Ballman and I definitely see why
You're crouching down low, fiddling other men's sack
Not daring to stop even when they're hitting back
I'm not even trying now, you're not even worth it
I'm the Rap God, you're just some loser, some git
But yeah, I'll be a notch on your belt, it's true
But it seems you forgot that belt was for the people you lost to.