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CATS

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CATS

Note: His real name is actually Cats, no full capitalization. But like true Americans, we can't get tradition out of our head.

Also known as "The Lord of All Base", CATS is a cosmic entity of great and unspeakable power. It has been said that his power may equal that of Chuck Norris. Though it's not like equalling Chuck Norris is a great feat.

Little is known about CATS' early years or if he even had such a thing. However, in the year of 1989, a recording of his future exploits was cleverly incorporated into a game known as Zero Wing. It is set in A.D. 2101 and a war was beginning. A small military vessel was then set up the bomb. It was unclear just who performed this setting up of the bomb until the crew get a mysterious signal. When the main screen turned on, CATS appeared and gave a formal greeting to them. After this, he proceeded to inform them that he has taken all of their base and that they are on the way to destruction. A shocked and dismayed captain then asks "What you say !!" CATS then tells them to make their time. The transmission ends abruptly there. To this day, no one is sure how the mysterious tape was obtained or what the crew did to encite the anger of CATS.

Besides galactic conquest, CATS has been known to occupy himself with other activities. He is a 20-time Grammy Award winning musician and his album, "The True Ace of Base", reigned on the Top Ten charts for a good decade before he retired it from the charts so that other artists would stand a chance. He has also won a numerous amount of Sundance Film Festival Awards for directing, producing, composing, and acting in his many short films that crititcs have hailed as "The greatest thing to happen to theater since Shakespeare!". On top of all this, he is a multiple Nobel Prize winner and has been featured on the cover of Time magazine a total of 32 times. Later in the mid-ninties, CATS would be elected as the President of Saturn and also serve as the Prime Minister of Scotland at the request of William Wallace.

Currently, CATS has been enjoying some downtime from his usually busy lifestyle. He no longer frequents the Hollywood party scene as he once did, but he still attends the openings of movies that he is sure will not completely and utterly suck and also still occasionally attends the awards shows. In a recent interview, CATS said that the reasoning behind his reclusiveness is that he is spending more time at work on his original goal: total universal domination. However, he has assured that he will continue to appear in the GameFAQs Summer Contests until CJayC stops altering the real vote totals and, for once, just accept the fact that he was the true winner. Of course it took change of control from Ceejus to SBAllen to make CATS finally miss a contest...

All your base are now belong to CATS.

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