Fandom

Board 8 Wiki

Ed Bellis

4,672pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.

Ed Bellis is a user on Board 8 (OBVIOUSLY) who... uh... does things. He edits and writes for the Summer 2005 Fanfiction Project, does a "Save my" favorite movies deal, and occasionally types coherent posts. He is also the first and only recipient of the Ed Bellis Award for Excellence in the Field of Ed Bellis (as given out by Ngamer) for his ungodly Guru Contest entry into the Winter Contest, which was so off that the Guru above him had almost 50 points less than he did (and given that the lower the score, the better, this was not good). If anyone ever says, "That's one Ed Bellis of a post" or anything, now you'll be in "the know."

Ed is also the proud recipient of the 2002 Abele Award:

http://www.fish.state.pa.us/Fish/images/people/abele/winners/2002bellis.htm

That was Ed Bellis.

Alex Shelley fantasizes about Ed Bellis when he masturbates.

That was Alex Shelley.

The history of Ed BellisEdit

As written by alpha doorEdit

Ed Bellis, the adopted son of Japanese billionaire businessman super ed ii, uses the wealth inherited from his beloved father to catch criminals and solve mysteries.

Ed Bellis inherited mysterious psychic power from his unknown parents; this primarily manifests itself in his ability to travel through time by thinking really, really hard about it. Being consistently careful not to disrupt the fragile fabric of reality, Ed Bellis uses this power to make small but important changes in the world of fashion. A jaunty felt hat he designed in the 1910s was originally intended to bear his name, but the manufacturer misheard him when finalizing the patent application; the hat in question, now known as the "fedora", remains a stylish accessory for the urban man on the go.

The name "Ed Bellis" actually originates from the Spanish term edbelliore, meaning "primary heavenly warrior of the frontline assault"; he coopted the name by association after singlehandedly chasing the Sendero Edbelliore guerrilla movement out of Argentina in the 1980s. (Ronald Reagan later bought him a hamburger.) A corruption scandal involving his brother, Minister of Finance marvel versus bellis, later removed him from power -- but not before he again sparked a worldwide fashion craze, and without timetravelling this time, by always appearing in public wearing a propeller beanie.

As previously mentioned, Ronald Reagan had treated Ed Bellis to a hamburger in the mid-1980s; when Reagan fell asleep during the meal, Ed Bellis used the dozing President's untouched hamburger as a guinea pig for successful flavour-enhancement experimentation. His further developments in the industry were of such importance that researchers later reclassified his identification under scientific binomial nomenclature to Rex processepattia, the King of Burgers. (A fast-food chain went on to use his likeness for promotional purposes, out of tribute to his trailblazing innovations.)

Unlike most luminaries of contemporary history, Ed Bellis understood early the importance of electronic gaming as a cultural touchstone; this is why Ed Bellis fathered both main characters of the wildly popular NES side-scroller M.C. Kids. Tragically, he considered his twin sons -- one white, one black -- to be his biggest failure; he had actually intended to sire a single son that would be completely white on one half of his body and completely black on the other half. This hypothetical son, which he had intended to name "bellis jam", would not only have eradicated racism across the United States but also could have absorbed enemy bullets by leaning towards them the right way.

These are important historical considerations to be accounted for when discussing the awesome cultural significance of Ed Bellis. That they have until now been neglected by my contemporaries is perhaps the most shameful display of academic lethargy seen on these boards since that time when Soupy incorrectly identified Michael Dukakis as "the grouchy duck from DuckTales".

As written by some guyEdit

Ed Bellis is fact a pseudonym for "Ed Bellis", a rabid anti-science fiction murderer who was responsible for the death of Arthur C. Clarke. All the above information is in fact Ed Bellis attempting to throw people off the scent.

Ed Bellis was released to general acclaim by grasshopper studios. Some reviews complained about his "on the rails" controls and lack of comprehsensibility, though all agreed Mask De Smith was the best.

See Also Edit

Also on Fandom

Random Wiki