The rap battle has become a popular and fun method to resolve conflicts and rivalries between two users in Board 8. These battles usually involve some sort of deal where the loser should do what the deal has stated (although there are a few that are just purely for fun). The following list some of the rap battles that were conducted in the board during the official Board 8 RAP BATTLE tourney. These battles did not affect the tourney in any shape and form.

Note: Generally, these rap battles were quite chaotic and unorganized. Most of them did not have the final voting score. These battles may not contain the raps from the users whose names were written as the heading title, so be surprise!

The RivalriesEdit

Vlado vs Ed BellisEdit

~The Deal~

  • Should Vlado win, Ed Bellis will readily admit to his cliquish ways and denounce the board's elitism for the rest of his days.
  • Should Ed Bellis win, he asks that Vlado basically just shut the hell up about him and leave him alone.

~The Raps~

You've called me out now, Ima whip you Ed Bellis
Make a lamp of your wang, use your balls as a trellis
By the end of this I'm gon' be covered in blood
You'll be totally crushed, I'll have thrown you in the mud
But don't feel bad, Ima make this quick
Beat you in a time smaller than my dick
I the person of communism, the today superhero when
your charisma is whack, you coolly am zero which it counts
It's easy to see you're weaker than me
And I know that they say you get nothing for free
But whuppin' yo ass, now that'll be cheap
Because I'm the wolf and YOU'RE MY SHEEP

Vlado is a ***** and he don't know how to rap
Only sex he'll ever get's his right hand when he ***s
He can't get up the guts to face an Ed Bellis maulin'
'Cause he's too busy gettin' off to old pictures of Stalin
He needs to take a chill pill and grow a ****ing pair
Of course that's highly doubtful with that ugly Joe Dirt hair
He's acting like a baby and the baby needs his bottle
Did he really think that he could date an Asian model?
You need to quit your *****ing, 'cause it's really gettin' lame
We may be the players, but your friend ertyu ain't the game.
One more thing before I end my major pwning of the day
Get some soap and wash those thoughts of Tifa in the mud away.

Han vs HanEdit

~The Raps~

The rules say the rap don't have to be more than 12 lines
So now it's over cuz I'm quite out of time!

Only 2 lines? now listen to me
What a joke! cant you see
The best raps have lines three

What is that? Are you mocking me?
I'd call you a punk but that'd bring you glee
So shut the **** up you little whore
Guess how many lines this rap has! FOUR!

Alright man, it's time to end this
It's a bit sad you had to miss
And suffer the consequences of my magnificent mix
Why don't you go eat a bowl of trix
Cuz you cant mess with a poem whose lines number six

BesaidGuy vs CurtEdit

~The Score~

BesaidGuy: 4
Curt: 4

~The Raps~

Curt you don't want it-- don't try and front dude
You just another little white kid, Micheal Jackson don't even want you
***** please, tryin ta tell me my crown is what you afta
Quit tryna rap, go back to bein a pokamon master
Who you ever beat, who you ever verbally plaster?
SPOILERS. . . .the old guys in Wal Mart don't count as rappers
You're weak wit ya verbs, I speak and be heard
I'ma lyrical catastrophe. . . . somethin like Katrina with words
Everyline I spit I toss em, my lyrics all awesome
My words will hit his chest and rip his arms all off em
I'm sick like it's cold out--
I'm Randy Moss on a lyrical go route
Ya chick didn't ditch ya for porn. . it's cuz I fit my **** in her whole mouth

Your **** in her whole mouth? That don't even make sense dude,
Take a magnifying glass an go south, the sight of your ****'s being persued
Don't bring pokemon up when you came to me for advice: I am the master,
A lyrical catastrophe indeed, your whole flow's a disaster
you think you can rap cuz you have a big mouth an your black,
I'll remind you of american history with my unrelenting attack
The cold is a white man's world, so you've already lost
My words are spit 'n hurled, leavin you on ice covered in frost
I'll give you some credit, you tried to work with my past
but don't forget about how far you've got your **** up andy's ass
You say you the king, number 1? Hah you ain't even numero deux
Cuz this here's the NHL, ***** and I'm Mario Lemieux

It is a white man's world but you can see us
ya chick dates you for the money but she ***** me for the penis
My spit. . . is fast
I click. . . and blast
Lyrics shaped like a boot. . .to kick. . . ya ass
You hollerin like Daffy Duck, ya spit all on the place
Visually you disgrace, looks like ya parents wiped some **** across ya face
Terrible is ya taste, everything you say is waste
You aint safe till they find a bulletproof vest for ya face
You make me sick wit ya lies, I can see the ***** in ya eyes
You the bizarro world Pikaness, a chick in disguise

Girl in disguise? ***** my legs are spread.
When I blow my load, you lose your head.
Yeah that line was a lewd implication,
but with a mouth like yours, who needs fornication?
It sounds like you be familiar with the dirty sanchez,
you must be Monica Lewinsky, an I'm the former prez
You all over the place from pokemon to daffy duck,
So where did you learn to give the perfect face ****?
With your constant **** sucking your knees must be numb,
"Super Head"s taken, so don't hope for stardom.
If anything we've learned you sure disgrace rap,
and you're the king of giving face-taps.

dkc_emperor vs SteinerEdit

~The Deal~

  • If Steiner wins, dkc_emperor leaves the board forever
  • If dkc_emperor wins, Steiner will probably kill myself

~The Raps~

dkc_emperor (Plagiarized from:

Sorry, Kamehameha
After the tetris theme
Comes the Dragon Ball Rap

Who didnt watch this show
Aint got no childhood
Big Bang Attack
Comes right from planet Namek

Vegeta and Goku
Sayian rivalities
Allargat Bastó!
Cuz it sucks in spanish

Its better in Cathalan
I rather nubol kinton
the canvi de lloc instantani
It was realy cool

Its Goku,Goten, Krillin, Pan,
Trunks, Yamcha, Chaiotzu and Ten Shin Han
Gohan was cool in ssj2
Satan didnt beat Cell
neither did Videl

Nobody could beat Brolly
The legendary Super Sayian
Asking for the energy of all earth
was needed to suceed

The Genki Ball
Carbonized Majin Buu
And Mecha Freezer
Was beaten by Trunks` sword

The Ozaru were losing their judgement
They destroyed cities
They broked trough buildings

1! 2! 3! Fusion!!
The ocarine had Hildegan
Inside Tapion

The Dragon Balls
Spread all over the world
With radar and capsules
We must get going

Raditz died along with Goku
Vegeta Took on Nappa
Gohan had a hard time with
The Silver Warriors

The Energy was raising
I dont know how many ki
Vegeta was controlled
By Babidi

Piccolo and Krilin
Became Stone
Cuz of Dabra
And the great sayiaman reveals

He is fighting the terrorists
All over Town
Dragon Ball Rap
Per mi bola de drac

They´ll always be welcome
To the Tme Room
Where a real-life day
Is one year of training

The Androids were formed
By Dr. Gero
On most of tournaments
Goku ended up in first place

In the sky rises
Always Yajirobai
It was funny seeing appearing
Tao Pai Pai on a trunk

Turles and the fruit of Strenght
Garlic Jr became big
In one instant, man

Magic seeds?
Mungetes Magices

Kaio Shin, Vegetto
The result of Pothara

With the help of Paikun
Fusion of Goku and Vegeta
Janemba couldnt compare himself
To the power of Gogeta

Gotenks ssj3
was really cool
If somebody lost his life
He was revived by Sheron

Oolong, Bulma, Poar, Dende
All on a paper
The maximum strength stayed
on fourth level

Special Forces??
Ginyu changes body
Dodoria, Zarbon, Reecom
They ended up dead

Cooler, Baby
Dragons of the Stars
Bardock gave his best
to defend his planet

Dragon Ball
Dragon Ball Z
Its art, man!
Dragon Ball GT
Whoever it is they break him!!


So they're finally here, performing for you
If you know the words, you can join in too
Put your hands together if you want to clap
As we take you through this fun-ky rap! HUH!

D. K.! Donkey Kong!

He's the leader of the bunch. You know him well.
He's finally back to kick some tail!
His coconut gun can fire in spurts
If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt!
He's bigger! faster! and stronger too!
He's the first member of the DK crew!
D. K.! Donkey Kong! HEY!
D. K.! Donkey Kong is here!

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes!
She shrinks in size to suit her mood!
She's quick n' nimble when she needs to be
She floats in air and climbs up trees!
If you choose her, you won't choose wrong
With a skip and a hop, she's ONE COOL KONG!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!

He has no style, he has no grace
This Kong...has a funny face
He can handstand when he wants to
And stretch his arms out just for you!
Inflate himself just like a balloon
This crazy Kong just digs this tune! HEY!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!
D. K.! Donkey Kong is here!

He's back again, and about time, too
And this time, he's in the mood!
He can fly real high
with his jetpack on...
With his pistols out, he's one tough Kong!
He can make you smile when you hear his tune...
But, Kremlings beware
'cause he's out after you!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!
D. K.! Donkey Kong!
D. K....

Finally, he's here for you!
It's the LAST member of the D. K. crew!
This Kong' strong, it isn't funny!
Can make a Kremling cry out for Mummy!
He can pick up a boulder with relative ease
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze
He may move slow; he can't jump high
But this Kong's one heck of a guy!

Come on Cranky!
Take it to the fridge!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells!
Grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells!

Oh, yeah!

Amazing Telephone vs sonicblastpunchEdit

~The Deal~

it's a loser leaves board forever rap battle

~The Raps~

I've a secret I've been hiding, but now it's time to come clean
I'm really an amazing telecommunications machine.
So, you wanted the best? Well, now here's your test!
I've been saving up a lot to get off my chest.

I'm the Brutus to your Caesar, I'm the Judas to your God
My spit's the secret element in that men's cologne called Bod,
and before this day is through, you'll get a good ol' spit shampoo,
'cause my words come out so fast, so hard, and so true.

They're just like lightning, and ya know all my brothers call me Zeus,
and my flow revives the music like Kevin Bacon in Footloose.
Seems some think you have a wit, but I'ma prove you're just a twit,
show the world your random prose ain't worth a wet ****

I'm gonna take my second turn before you even start,
since I know that your very best ain't even worth a fart.
Really, no one cares at all what a man like you discusses,
I've met plenty of your kind, albeit only on short buses

Your brain is like your shift key, in that it's never been used,
your thoughts are like your readers: constantly confused
You think a thesaurus and a rambling style makes you the best?
Well, at least this morning my mother didn't help ME get dressed

Gordon Freeman would be proud, you are failure in the flesh,
like a less useful doppleganger of the dick of John Tesh
So, my intelliectually challenged friend, go back to the farm
and always remember that AT lives on through this arm.

Tom Bombadil
AT no-showed? Too bad, oh well
A new challenger hereby approaches
I'ma check you into your fave hotel
So you can hang with all the other roaches

You must defeat the Tombolo to stand a chance
'Cuz you ain't got a prayer of taking AT down
You can just bend over and remove your pants
Or I can do this the hard way and take you to town

Fire Thunder Driver? That **** won't fly
My Sweet Chin Music's all I need for you
Try not to let this beatin' put a tear in your eye
'Cuz you wouldn't wanna miss this incredible view.

Warning_crazy vs SmurfEdit

~The Deal~

Loser leaves b8 for a whole month.

~The Score~

Warning_crazy: 5
Smurf: 15

~The Raps~

Smurfie, you want a fox to **** you in the butt
However, you are just an angry smut
You blame your problems on others
You and andy are obviously brothers
To your countries, you both bring deep shame
To fame, you only have one pathetic claim
You run random project that appeal to people's egos
So just go to poland and eat bigos

I had a dream I could banish cole from board eight
when I awoke I was told I was too late
I told cole's mom I'd be back in a second
Gotta check the e-web, I'm so obsessed I reckoned
To Cole ownage was given, his crap lyrics tested
Passing that **** off as a rap, man you should be arrested.
He felt the pressure of his puberty
and what'd he do? Act more stupidly
Picked more fights, deleted Board Eight Two
Even GMUN said what the hell, foo?
The drama, board 8 getting schooled on
You've been banished son, next week you'll be long gone.

this rap comes from inside smurfs mind
if it's kinda weird just give it some time
i hope he falls off a cliff
if i had a gun
i'd shoot his hun
except it's a fox named joe

I met this dude on the internet
Furry, hypocrite, stupidity GET
He tried to burn me with his razor wit
Fell flat on his face, he has to admit
Cheap insults, smack talk laying down the laws
I'd list out your pros, but man all you've got is flaws
Now I'm sick of this rap ****
Get your votes in so we can get rid of this dip****

Smurf vs Eeeevil OverlordEdit

~The Deal~

  • If Smurf wins - James must speak like a stereotype cockney for a month, specifically he must add one of the following to EVERY SINGLE message he posts on board 8. "geezer", "blimey" or "u r havin' a laff mate". It must be in the message body, sigs don't count.
  • If James wins - Smurf must play through the ****fest that is Dirge of Cereberus and log his funtimes in a playthrough topic.

~The Score~

Smurf: 3
Eeeevil Overlord: 13

~The Raps~

ya'll gonna both lose 'cause I'm the best
an' smurf'll have to put his dog to the test
we know he's a furry - it ain't even funny
and James' gee eff is a fat ol' honey.
I'm the rhyme master, and the MC
come on people, now listen to me

smurf an' james are both slow
(haha this we already know)
but if they gonna battle
i'll stop herding cattle
i'll pop a cap in both their hineys
just like mario collects them shineys

post yo' rap boy - who goes first
I've got desire, you could even say a thirst
kickin' butt and taking names is my quest
in rap battles everyone knows I'm best
I'll throw you out the ring with an RKO
don't count me out - I'm not your average joe

smurf hurry up with your crap rap
just like Palmer I'll give you some dap
you stand no chance to my sick rhymes
life's giving you lemons, but I've got limes
my rappin' skillz will leave you in a fruity-scented haze

flu's goin round these days

I met this guy when I was on AOL'
And what struck me most he acted old as hell
He said excuse me little smurfy I know you don't know me
but my name is James and I like warm slippers and Downing Stewie
From that point I never rap him off
French chicks come into town, he like to court em off.
He's acts slick...they like to tell him off
Listen's to dream theater, so emo they won't blow him off.

Eeeevil Overlord
K Smurf, let me say this quick.
Your rap was about as feeble as your dick.
Rhyming off with off twice? I mean seriously that's bad.
It got old quicker than a board 8 fad.
Plus, the point of a battle rap is to insult your foe.
All you did was give me a short bio.
The problem I have is different - so many insults to pick!
The fact you're an Irish *****.
The rap's meant to be venomous, yours wouldn't give me a blister.
I'd say **** you but seriously dude, I'd rather just **** your sister.

haw ha, I gotta laugh. You try to get off calling me a fleabag
When on line two you prude, what the hell, you ***.
Rhyming same word twice? I can do that dawg
My creativity's deeper than your mama's sex log.
The point of a rap battle is to play your foe
Not show your hand, in and out like a 2 dollar hoe.
Lose a battle to a limey brit?
I'll worship your queen before I take that hit.
You're a disgrace as a college guy
No booze, no parties, live on your own? What the hell? WHY?
Study, surf, chill play it cool. Think you're made cos you're rich.
But alls you can get's a mother ****** fat *****

Eeeevil Overlord
You think you're hot stuff? Well don't get deluded, cousin
If you had a ten vote headstart I'd still win by a dozen
You want to talk about my mother? I'm fighting fire with lava.
While most guys want girls all you want's your father
I'ma float like a butterfly, sting like a ray
Then back round your mother's for a ****-easy lay
Then when I'm done going down on her beaver
I'll bend you over, make you a receiver
Wouldn't be the first time - I mean, this is a rape
Like the sort you get off to on videotape
Not that I'm *** - I just think you're a chick
You sure can't rhyme or play football a lick
And you're so impotent you couldn't screw rules
You're like that show The View - all talk and no balls
I'd call your sis a whore but ****, it'd make you proud
Quit rap now Smurf - there's no incest allowed

See AlsoEdit

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