Wander x IcoEdit
“Come on, jump!”
“Come ooooon, there’s a magical couch right here. Once you make it across, we can ‘save our progress,’ whatever that means.”
“Yeah, thanks, dork, like I really want to sit down with you on another one of those creepy alien-glow couches.”
“Augh, sometimes I just can’t stand women…”
“What did you say?!”
“I said JUMP!”
“Fine!” And she jumped as far as she could, reaching for the outstretched hand before her.
And she missed.
Ico watched as Yorda fell down, down, down to her rocky doom.
“Weeeeeeeell, crap,” Ico said to himself.
Suddenly, on Ico’s butt-side, there appeared in the air a big swirling of magical energy. Because of all the swirly noises, Ico heard it and immediately turned to face it with his crotch-side. Oh no, he thought, now that I have let Yorda die, her mother is now surely returning with a great swiftness to pop a cap in my butt-side! I must escape, for this must be… the queen!
And out from the energy popped…Wander?!??
“Well, you got the ‘queen’ part right,” Wander drawled sassily.
Ico peed himself.
“Oooh myyy, nerrrrvous, are we? Well, don’t you worry,” Wander said, a bit too reassuringly. “I’ll help you clean that up…later…”
Ico did not know what was meant by Wander’s guttural, drawn-out pronunciation of the word later, but it gave him strange feelings that made him uncomfortable. He tried to hit Wander with his wooden plank.
“Oooh myyy, feisty, are we?” Wander lecherously replied while fending off the blows.
“You’re supposed to be dead anyway!” Ico yelled.
“Look, little twinky boy,” Wander said with a smug smile. “Let’s have a civilized discussion about this. What do you say you stop whacking me with your long wood stick? I mean really, not so rough, it hurts! Your stick is really hard! Quite a nice job you’re doing, but I can only take so many blows! I can see you like to whack, but can you turn the whack off? It’s really not necessary to come at me like this. If only I had protection! In this fight, you really are on top. We should have a proper sword fight. Maybe then you wouldn't be so cocky.”
Ico was impressed by how well Wander was able to fend him off, both mentally and physically. Finally, he ceased his attack. “I can see you truly are a strong muscular man with a lot physical tone and excellent shape. But seriously, after you killed those colossus…-es, didn’t you get killed and inhabited by an evil shadow god and sucked into oblivion or something? Wait, I forget, what happened? It was really confusing.”
“Oh haw haw, you’re rambling,” Wander chuckled sophistocatedly, “I can see you’re flustered. Is it because of my eyes?” Wander then looked down at Ico with a huge mouth-open smile while staring at him out of the top of wide-open eyes.
Ico took his shirt off.
Wander watched, confused but intent.
“You’re right," Ico finally stated matter-of-factly. "You are truly beautiful more than the entirety of get-out! Why haven’t I ever realized that all I want is someone else with a stick like mine!”
“Oooh myyy, now you’re seeing it my way,” Wander blurted giddily. “Now get over here and I’ll show you the weak spot on the seventeenth colossus.”