It was a long yet typical day in the quaint town of Little Girlville. The sun was setting, casting a beautiful orange glow upon the scenery that was accentuated by the sounds of thousands of young girls screaming and fleeing for their lives. Yes it was a typical day indeed. Fortunately with the setting of the sun HE would retreat, leaving them alone until the rising of a new day. They had won...for now, and a deep sense of fear and uncertainty was left within the minds of the inhabitants of the town.
"Dangit all I wanted to do was hug some little girls," an idiotic looking redneck whined aloud. This was SDR, a notorious pedophile that had plagued the quiet town of Little Girlville for quite some time. Sure he hid under the pretense of simply "wanting a hug" or to "play the wii" but the little girls knew far too well what he was up to. Since his arrival in the town some time back they had found the ravaged bodies of his "hug" victims dumped unceremoniously in trash cans and river beds alike. SDR was a notorious threat and everyone wholeheartedly agreed that he needed to be stopped for the safety of little girls everywhere.
With the setting of the sun went SDR's pedophile powers. The SDR Alarm's ringing had began to subside and the sounds of the villagers unbarricading their doors and windows could be heard throughout the air. SDR let out a long sigh and wandered into Little Girlville Park. "I don't know why ya'll just won't play the goddanged wii with me," he absentmindedly mumbled aloud. Much to the surprise of SDR, a voice responded to him from out in the darkness. It was a voice unlike any other that SDR had heard before. It was rugged, manly, and utterly cherubic...and caused him to feel a way he had never felt before. SDR wanted, no, NEEDED to find the source of the voice. Again it rang out.
"the y do'nt liek u so mayb u SHOULD leeve them alune." It was as if a choir of angles had descended from above solely to serenade SDR. Frantically he searched for the voice, his eyes coming to rest on an amazing piece of man sitting on a bench playing a gameboy.
"Uh, what'd ya'll say again?" SDR asked dumbfoundedly whilst plopping down on the bench next to this fine specimen. For years the redneck had searched long and far for someone to whine about his sad little life to. Many years ago he spent countless hours complaining to his dog, but after it barked during one of his AWESOME RIFFS he knew it needed to be...dealt with. Since then he took out his pain and suffering on the poor inhabitants of Little Girlville, but if only he could reel in this angel he was willing to change.
"who sed u can sit there countie walking go away," the man responded, not looking up from his gameboy. And with that, SDR was completely and wholly infatuated. He speaks just like a dang infant, he thought, I think I'm in love. Now was the time to strike if he wanted to grab hold of his beloved's attention. "Ya'll wanna go play some wii?" Hook, line, and sinker. "yah my name ertyu lets go ur place and beated some games."And with that, the pair headed off to SDR's den of rape.
And by play wii I mean they uh...played wii...into the early hours of the night. Eventually SDR, exhausted by the night's events, fell asleep in ertyu's strong and secure arms. He was the happiest redneck alive...but it was not meant to be.
"Wh..what?" SDR groggily asked, ripped from his slumber by a soft noise. What he saw before him hurt him more than Chris Hansen ever could. At the doorway was a fully clothed ertyu trying to sneak out of the apartment unnoticed. Somewhere in SDR's heart he knew the answer to his question, yet it didn't stop him from asking it anways because he's stupid.
"Where...are you going?"
Ertyu turned his back on SDR, heading in the direction of the door. His words were cold and harsh.
SDR burst out into a fit of hysterics. "Dangit I thought what ya'll shared with me last night was special," he sobbed, wiping the tears from his eyes with his poster of every tween Disney star ever. Ertyu paused, facing the distraught form of SDR lying pathetically on the bed.If this was a movie this would be the part where the camera would get right into ertyu's face. He spoke again, his words forever crushing any semblance of a hope or dream SDR had or ever will have, ever.
"watever i never like u anyway. you just the game i just the player."
The door slammed shut behind him, muffling the horrid cries of the mentally broken SDR. Ertyu waited until the door of the aparment building shut behind him before he reaching into his pocket to pull out a small notebook. With a nod of approval he placed a mark under a column that read Beated "Game" List. A devious smile formed on his face as he put the book away and headed out to look for another unsuspecting "game" to "beated".